I’m at my sister’s apartment in Bar Harbor with 3 feet of snow outside and the heater on high on the inside. I am at peace with not knowing, not planning. My mind is quiet. Its okay that everything is impermanent and none of this will last. This happy time of being here right now. I’m incredibly grateful for where I am right now. None of this is really me. This is all there is.

I’m just starting to read about the enneagram. “The enneagram teaches us to develop and ‘inner wittness’ – creating this in the first 5-6 years of contemplative practice. Find a compassionate position from which you can say: ‘I’m doing it again…here’s my seveness again. It can make you a different person to live with. As soon as you lose the inner wittness due to tiredness, stress, etc. your ego is back.
1) must be able to stand back from me
2) compassionately calmly observe me
3) observe the situation you and I are upset about
4) see me and my dramas almost as a if they were not me (be that detached)
5) if you’re unable to detach from me, you’re over-identified as me
6) the beginning of seeing the false self, ego loses its addictive power
7) when you can learn to live here regularly, you’ll be in a good position to start seeing pure self.
8) the stable buddhist
9) surrender and trust in divine union given. You don’t get/achieve spirit.
10) this spirit will teach you all things, re-minded of your initial mind and identity

When we’re acting out, we’ve forgotten the connection. Feeling that disconnect from source is what makes us want to reconnect again. Over and over. Its about you seeing our reactivity.

Let your mind be as curious, open and receptive as it can. A question is much more interesting than an opinion. “I don’t know, but I’m willing to be informed”